As a professional speaker and coach, should you keep your personal opinion to yourself?

Have you ever been in a business setting where someone has made a remark that was inappropriate, controversial or offensive to you? Unfortunately, I have and I’m never quite sure how to respond because often the comment is unexpected. Like a slap in the face. I'm stunned, deaf and speechless... and then the moment passes. What in the world!

It’s even more difficult to address these comments if they have been delivered by a professional presenter in a conference. This happens to me on occasion and I am always caught off guard and in a daze for a few seconds. My first reaction is likely to be, “Did I really hear what I think I heard?” 

At a recent networking meeting, the presenter made some very clear remarks expressing strong personal political views. Her tone was disparaging and judgmental. I suddenly felt trapped…as if I were held hostage to the presenter’s political opinions. I imperceptibly scanned the room to see if anyone else noticed her unprofessional remarks, but no one seemed visibly fazed.

Ironically, the topic of her presentation was, “How to Project an Impressionable Image.” The speaker was an image consultant and I thought, “well isn't this interesting!” I was invited by an acquaintance to attend, and although the speaker was well-respected in the field and shared many helpful tips, I found myself shutting down and soon heard very little of what else she had to say.

After most conferences and workshops, I usually approach and thank the presenter, but in this case, I could not bring myself to do so. To add to the irony, I won her book in a drawing. Needless to say, I may never read it. I left feeling frustrated. Were my feelings justified? Or was I just being petty?

I’ve always believed that speakers should be nondiscriminatory and sensitive to all members of their audience in respect to their convictions, values and beliefs.

How best should this be handled? Here are some recommendations:

• Don't immediately react. First gather your thoughts and remain calm.
• Try to give the presenter the benefit of the doubt, if it’s possible that the comment was made inadvertently or in ignorance. 
• If it seems to be intentional or if it happens more than once in a presentation, don’t hesitate to respond. Sometimes a small visual reaction such as a wince or nose wrinkle does the trick. 
• Rather than making a condescending or passive aggressive comment to the presenter, try asking a genuinely concerned question such as, “What makes you believe that?” Or play Devil’s Advocate by saying something like, “A lot of people feel like you, but there are others who believe that ...” 
• Consider addressing the remarks privately and let him or her know that you understand that he/she has a right to his/her opinions, but that you feel insulted and that the remarks are hurtful to you. Always do this in a calm manner. Never sacrifice your own personal dignity.

For me, I did regret that I didn’t address the issue in some manner. I still wonder how I will handle the situation in the future.

What would you do?